love letter

in this, the time of I pod and 4g,
Amazon versus Ebay
and 0 to 60 in five-point -two
i think of her, when i think of her

she's that old station wagon
and no seat belts on the kids
as she swaggered down the road
like a cow plump with milk

she's the tapioca my grandma made,
her mashed potatoes,
all that on the old white porcelain stove
chipped and blackened
before instant and microwave defined perfection

she's those four channels on the TV that mattered
and the national anthem at midnight.saying goodnight
Tony Bennett when he sings
and Marilyn Monroe when she smiled

she's a plaid table cloth for a summer picnic
a cloth diaper folded and downy
the four poster bed with feather pillows
and that photo album of black and whites

in second period math, John
reaches into pocket
and blindly, yet like lightning
fires off a hamburger

and in the library, Tammy vibrates
dampens down and smiles
mt u @ 3 by rvr
oh! love so swiftly sweet!

thanks to Steve and Bill
even oceans are crossed in an instant
bridging boredom to loneliness
and web cams to lost modesty

theaters sit empty while
dates are now hook ups
and wiki
has burned all the books of lost relevance

and it is now i think of her
as now i think of you
her sticky fingers
that have to be pried apart

her black skin with gold tattoo,
smooth and without blemish,
and when she speaks, and oh, how she speaks!
she sounds like a tap on the shoulder
prelude to a kiss

of course she still wears a ribbon
and must fly or float to cross vast oceans
and 0 to 60 comes in minutes
-not seconds

but now when i think of you
and of my love for you
and of a letter to send you
i think not of the droid, or even hotmail
but of her, stout and mortar
the old Underwood too long silent

it will take me all night
a dictionary, a brandy, and a lamp of oil
to tell you of my love, my dreams
for us
and of what your beauty
means to me

and in that time
a billion loves will be bartered
arranged, completed
and deleted without trace

but when i think of you now
and the love i feel in this swollen heart,
i think of her
and the time she keeps
in her ink that becomes my blood

so let us my, Darling
just this once
love in the ancient way
before instant
so that we may remember
that love need not be raced through
just because it can be

in honour

and on this day
God created that
and on that day
God created this
the light of day
the dark of night
great whales
and seas to keep them

and somewhere down the road
God created hemorrhoids
go look, it's in the book

and boy! was he generous with them
spread em around like snowflakes
on the prairie, creating repercussion

why, they even made golden hemorrhoids
to honour such a unique affliction

alchemist, me
i dip my despair
my guilt, my shame
and my fears in the gold

and i lift it up
to the God most high

My Faith

if understanding
is necessary to believe
then i don't believe
but i do believe
though without understanding

i know nothing
of the heart and lungs
yet i beat
still i breathe
sometimes, quite well

some things
can't be denied
just are

The Danger of Her Allure

as she sleeps, i peek under her skirt



she begins to wake, shake her hair



her eye opens-and spies me



she puts on her make up
i get hard



come baby, come in.
don't mind the sentry



i lose my breath
her breasts grace the sky



she slips her stockings on



come on baby, come closer
you know you want to
want me to love you
and
i long to kiss her sweet thighs



the sky becomes her elogance
i am hypnotized
by her beauty



but i begin to feel small
insignificant
it grows dark
between her legs
but still, she beckons
blinding my fear



her legs close
her smell engulfs me
i lose my way
still
she says, come
come closer
inside me



darkness has come
i am inside of her
eaten
having eaten
and there is no
escape
her beauty
only the allusion
that broke my heart



been here before

dress me up just to break me down
rope that colt and brand his ass
then plant me in the corner
where your sunshine only starves me

tie me to a chair, just to prove you can
reform the outlaw and his bloodshot ways
and harness my energy to feed
your fading light

hey i've been here
down this way before
i've known this trail
and i've known your door
and tomorrow's gonna find me
down that road of no return

this boxcar aint the prison
you think you see
i aint quite the color
you painted me
and i'm just two shades of blue
from bein gone, from here and you

i know to you, my ways seem strange
and that's the color you wanna change
but have you seen the heart
that's gone to black and blue?

hey i've been here
once or twice before
and i've known this trail
and your secret door
and tomorrows gonna find me
where you can't

(this is just a thought about how we conform-or try to- to what others think we should be as they fix us to make themselves a little more justified)

Gypsy Rain (a song)

look at your eyes, look hard, babe
they're searchin for the broken blame
pity for you, some for me
measured out so equally
but still i will not stay

cuz i ain't your hero, girl
ain't no one's anything
just a two dollar gypsy
in a stolen preacher's coat
just tryin to find my way

you tried to hold the ocean, darling
you tried to tame the wind
you tried to grip tomorrow
in the hair of this gypsy's sin

but i'm always bound for leavin
even when i first arrive
just always lookin down the road
it's my way to stay alive

i ain't your sunshine, baby
i ain't your anything
i'm just the cloud you rode in upon,
that flower that you fell hard upon
in the rains of early spring

but seasons come
and seasons go
you shoulda known the way
and all your searching for the blame
won't warm this winter day

so now you cry in loneliness
scratchin shelter from the pain
but don't you know your loving me
is all there is to blame?​

i see you locked within yourself
reaching yet for early spring
but it's out there on the road again
bleeding the broken wing

and i ain't your future, darling
i ain't your anything
i'm just a cloud you rode upon
when once we shared a spring

Walking on a Cold Winter's Night

on the northern prairie
the sun settles in sublimity
a gentle mother's hush
into the blanket of winter snow

it paints the december ditch bank
where the shouldered pines gather
while careful does slide beneath
the skirts on their way to pond

over by the farm, the rooster goes still
as the last gasp of light
dims through the break in boards
while the outside wind echoes the sun's demise

over where the bare trees
mark the fence line, there is one
small and final explosion of blaze
before the stalks and branches turn shadow

on this cold winter's night
old men will peek curtains
to redless thermometers
while the chimney above billows gray

the lake will crack sharply at midnight
and the freezing maple will reply
the owls will sleep, waiting it out
while the moon grows a holy shroud

it is here, in this harshest of times
when life is at its fullest
it is here i am most alive
walking in the silent explosion
in the warmth, of a cold winter's night

Murdered

i've been murdered
torn to pieces by the she -bear
here an arm, there an ear
as the bones rattle and break
flying through the trees

i heard of an old trick
just get real close and grab hold of her fur
-it doesn't work

i tried running but my legs became silly
so i smiled friendly, showing no fear,
but my weakness became her jerky

then i bluffed
pickett's charge across the grove
while the cannon shot my horse
from under me

so now i lie scattered
as the scavengers feast
and the she-bear sleeps full bellied

but this death is not the end
not even unbearable
for i am one of them now
in them, among them
and through them
i shall live

i shall see and taste life as they have
i shall also drink the blood as
flea on that she-bear,
too small to be torn

through the trees as wind
i shall roam free and haunt
while the flowers i once inhaled
will become my limbs

and in the winter,
i shall visit her in her silent den
dancing to her fat snore.
while blowing cold up her nostrils

i will swim with the salmon
sleep under mushrooms
become the slightest leaf
in the wrens nest
is this not life?

but if another man wander through,
though quite capable, i'll
warn him not
but watch, the twisted knot
in a silent tree

and there. in the shadow of his terror,
in the womb of her hunger,
i'll die in peace
while he may become
her April rage

ol carnegie

This is a song (which only i know the melody to) so that's why it will read like shit.

take a bow, take a bow, yeah
let everyone see
raise the roof with your playing
bring the crowd to their feet
cuz if you played the piano
just the way you played me
they'd stand up and cheer
back in ol carnegie

every note strikes a nerve
and your method's precise
the birds up in heaven
even stopped to look twice
your score was on target
your pitch it did soar
and it carried me out
while they came through the door

so take a bow, take another
let everyone see
the way you performed
and the fool that was me
if you played the piano
just the way you played me
you'd kick all their ass's
back in ol carnegie

and she came to me softly, when the moon was up high
she taught me her magic, she said i could fly
and for awhile i believed, just enough to take flight
but like the moon after sunrise, she's no where in sight

and do you ever get lonely
when the lights go down low?
when the curtains are drawn
when the crowd turns to go?
in the silence of midnight
when there's no one to hear
do you long for the laughter
but reach for your fear?

so take a bow, take it now
let everyone see
me left in the shadow
of the song in your tree

and if you played that piano
just the way you played me
you'd be raisin the roof
back in ol carnegie

take a bow, sing it loud
cry it out and be proud
the people are waiting, just look at that crowd
up there in the rafters, up front on their knees
they've all come to see
just how well you played me