Tuesday, August 13, 2013

assorted random thoughts


I have always been lonely
innate
it is your clinical condemnation
that has made it a crime

I was only truly me
when i was me
truly, with you

when the river rolls by
when the train disappears
the best part of me
always goes along
leaving me
with what little remains

a warm fire
is like a mother's apron
~there lies the danger

if it's cat,
why isn't it citten?

a shrug
is a poor excuse for ignorance


i have a boss who pays me,
a banker to count my money
and a salesman eager to clean my carpet
we vote for sunny smiles
and my wife cooks well
if i say "I love you"
just right
don't kid yourself
we're all prostitutes

words cannot be trusted
unless spoken in hate

no one truly desires to be free
who would we blame
for our misery?


Friday, August 9, 2013

Sorry


you never should've loved me
i should've never let you

i'll always be
two places at once

a monument for pigeons
to adore
pollen on the wind
untraceable


a malcontent, incurable
a conscience intruceable
a peace loving
war machine

i am a wanderer
flower to heart
smile to touch
forever
looking beyond
hating what lives
within

i could never please you
nor me
and you could never hold
my ever restless heart

race on, i must
into oblivion
leaving ruin
in my wake

all this
i have known
since first
i began to know

yet,
i paused to love you,
let you
love me
knowing
the shifting winds
and changing tides
would pull me along

I'm sorry
i let you love me
but i'm not sorry
i loved you

it is my way
i wish
you had known

Friday, August 2, 2013

Castle of Sand


hypnotized by the ocean
swept up, in her dreaming arms
i believed i could

so there, on her lonely beach
i built a castle
from my shifting sand

the sun rose, set
moon upon moon
yet build, even in sleep
did i

when at last, it was finished
i sat back to admire
my accomplishment

oh, it was grand!
who knew, such ability
was hidden within me

with a longing to save it
to protect it, from
storm and tide
i sought to move it
having forgotten
i built it, from
my shifting sand

the tides did rise, the
storms did come, and i learned
the limits of my dreams, reside
on the edge of hope

i went to the sea
one day, to say i was sorry
but the sea didn't care
and the sand lay solemn
filled with contempt
for making it
believe i could

Sunday, July 28, 2013

My Education


ever know a night that sleeps,
like the echo of starlight whispering?

it's just after midnight, the blizzarding winds
long gone, the flakes now tempered
to soft white daisies, signature
to a masterpiece

the moon, a shadow of itself,
drifts through the clouds left behind
singing a silent song,
an ancient remedy

I park my beat
off the road forgotten,
look to the forest still,
and step into whatever
mystery her painted splendor
might unravel in my
tangled heart

in school, i learned mathematics
to better know my failings
-and others success
and English, so i could be stupid
or brilliant, depending on my company

i learned history, so i could learn war,
Politics, to learn there is honour
in deceit
while Geography, taught me of dreams
I'll never capture, and mountains
I'll never climb, because of seas
I'll never sail

love taught me hurt, friends~betrayal
and time
taught me age
for the price of my youth

I've worn out my heart
with learning

but nothing more important
than what that night taught me
among the peace laden trees
so long ago beyond
the shores
of Lake Rebecca




Wednesday, March 20, 2013

Crazy In The Mountains


she's the woman of the crazy mountains
aptly named for an adopted daughter

the snows blow fierce around her tiny cabin
buried deep in season, while inside
bark and roots tea boil in heavy scent.
just a frosted window away,
the only friends remaining
fly branch to feeder,

she paints
these, and whatever else
may happen by, be they clouds,
sunshine's shadow on the peaks
or the fox deep in hunt

but this, no one sees as no one dare
the darkness playing in the pines
where the sentry crows stand
careful watch over wonder or reason

when she makes it to town, a birth wide
is given by fear masked as respect
by those who will whisper later
to shaking heads at the coffee shop
just after she's gone

her paintings, her jewelry, her carvings,
molasses and honey, are all sold by the man
at the trading post who knows well to turn a nickle
from the lunacy he quietly admires
but never admits

she never speaks when in town
and only quietly when alone.
just a nod or a note sufficing.
if a trace of smile lingers
in her plowed field of face
it is well guarded by the eyes
which long ago stopped looking

she may have gone to Berkeley
-for a year, may have swooned to
Janis at Woodstock, and somewhere
far beyond the reach of telling
there may be a child long ago run free

she no doubt was a child herself
in a world since forgotten
and who knows, there may even
have been ideals and a God
who pretended to understand

but now another spring has come
the snows melt and run
while her tattered laundry
flies wild in the breeze
welcoming the bluebirds come to nest
in the peace of her silence

she'll die here
and no one will listen
to the song that was never sung
from this woman
adopted by mountains too crazy
to turn her away

Thursday, March 14, 2013

The Orchard


to the orchard i flew
famine to the feast
from the gate flew the troll
saying, eat as you please
but mind the caveat

some hold a poison
worse than many deaths

red ripe and delicious
were most of the apples
while others couldn't hide
their blemish
the latter i trusted
more than the former

but no matter, just the same
as only pretend to eat, did i

in truth, i took bow and quiver
shooting them all from the trees
to poison the worms that
poison the birds

yes, starve i will
but of all the deaths
mine, will be
the most honest

Monday, March 11, 2013

Texture


i don't need a new colour
this world's full of colour aplenty
~it's all part of the game

but the feel of fall leaves underfoot
July grass, heavy with dew to bare feet
an ethereal petal from the softest lavender flower
fresh off the bloom, falling softly

i've known steel girders and rusty bolts
brick upon brick, the sturdy fortress
i've been the white line down angry highways
the barb along wire, catching innocent fur

stamp and step, clickety clack
the cold of locks, the hardening
of bitter remembrance constructs
and muscles this iron tower
of pinioned solitude within

i need a new texture
layers of peaceful
gentle delight

the cool of a spring brook
ensconcing my upturned palm
a single snowflake finding rest
upon my shoulder
a light breeze from eminence,
that barely stirs

engineers need steel and mortar
blueprints, their bible
but me, the dreamer,
having fallen upon their bridge
hanging by tired grip
wishes to let go

hoping the softness will catch me
making me it's own,
taking me along