assorted random thoughts

I have always been lonely

innate

it is your clinical condemnation

that has made it a crime

I was only truly me

when i was me

truly, with you

when the river rolls by

when the train disappears

the best part of me

always goes along

leaving me

with what little remains

a warm fire

is like a mother's apron

~there lies the danger

if it's cat,

why isn't it citten?

a shrug

is a poor excuse for ignorance

i have a boss who pays me,

a banker to count my money

and a salesman eager to clean my carpet

we vote for sunny smiles

and my wife cooks well

if i say "I love you"

just right

don't kid yourself

we're all prostitutes

words cannot be trusted

unless spoken in hate

no one truly desires to be free

who would we blame

for our misery?

Sorry

you never should've loved me

i should've never let you

i'll always be

two places at once

a monument for pigeons

to adore

pollen on the wind

untraceable

a malcontent, incurable

a conscience intruceable

a peace loving

war machine

i am a wanderer

flower to heart

smile to touch

forever

looking beyond

hating what lives

within

i could never please you

nor me

and you could never hold

my ever restless heart

race on, i must

into oblivion

leaving ruin

in my wake

all this

i have known

since first

i began to know

yet,

i paused to love you,

let you

love me

knowing

the shifting winds

and changing tides

would pull me along

I'm sorry

i let you love me

but i'm not sorry

i loved you

it is my way

i wish

you had known

Castle of Sand

hypnotized by the ocean

swept up, in her dreaming arms

i believed i could

so there, on her lonely beach

i built a castle

from my shifting sand

the sun rose, set

moon upon moon

yet build, even in sleep

did i

when at last, it was finished

i sat back to admire

my accomplishment

oh, it was grand!

who knew, such ability

was hidden within me

with a longing to save it

to protect it, from

storm and tide

i sought to move it

having forgotten

i built it, from

my shifting sand

the tides did rise, the

storms did come, and i learned

the limits of my dreams, reside

on the edge of hope

i went to the sea

one day, to say i was sorry

but the sea didn't care

and the sand lay solemn

filled with contempt

for making it

believe i could