The Sheriff doesn't like trouble in his town
watched too much TV with his old man
~thinks he's Matt Dillon
but has a splash of Barney Fife
when Zelda's Hideout, at the edge of town
got too rowdy, he slapped spur to hide, so to say,
and busted their ass good!
some guy fixes computers there now
The Silver Dollar on East Main gets by ok,
cuz they have some kid leave an envelope in the Sheriff's mailbox
every Thursday at midnight
but Corky's Tavern on Maple didn't fair so well
Corky said, "Fuck that shit!"
and went to the city council
unaware how well traveled the envelopes were
That's just the way it is, love it or leave it
hide the tree in the forest
Carrie's Confectionery sits smack dab on Main Street
between the Fire Department and Post Office
across the alley, in the back, is Jack's Bait and Tackle.
and never mind that there ain't a fish to be caught for forty miles
and never mind that, how in the hell can anyone make a living
selling candy, fine linen, and used books.
what matters, is the hidden tunnel under the alley that leads
from Jack's to Carrie's. The one the bootlegger's dug way
back in the 20's. The one the Sheriff doesn't know
oh, he strolls into Jack's now and then, jus cuz ya never know, and Jack
but he never goes into Carrie's. Barely gives the front window
a passing glance. Not that it matters.
all the action's in the deep basement that's been sound proofed.
the big stud poker game, the moonshine whiskey,
the bar you can smoke weed at,
the girls the Sheriff thinks are Jack's cousins who
live in the apartment above the bait shop,
the makeshift bedrooms where a person can sleep it off,
or get it on, before walking out Jack's front door in the morning,
tipping the hat to the Mayor.
it's all there to be had in Carrie's Confectionery,
where almost nothing ever sells
and the Sheriff never looks