Thursday, December 13, 2012

Santa ain't right

Look out! Look out!
he's flyin the Big Jet Blue
cracked himself a beer,
slapped Mrs. Farnnigan silly
and slid down the chute

the papers are gonna love this one!

there he goes
up on the tower
run for cover!
he's locked and loaded
full rock and roll!

children scream,
mother's wail
Wally's tavern locks the doors
and tips the taps

he's in Wal-Mart now
chewing the heads off Barbies
and Easy Bakin at 425

maybe it's all those letters
too much love
those annoying elfs
and that whiny Rudolph
with the red schnocker

doesn't really matter
Santa's gone postal
and no one is safe

I saw momma piss off Santa Claus
beneath the mistletoe
last Friday night

oh, what peace there might have been
if momma had given in
but now Santa Claus is wrapped
too tight!