Friday, September 21, 2012

the gods must be crazy

know ye not that ye are gods?~Bible
i do not understand how one can own land~an ancient
get the hell off my yard!~clint eastwood
kill never, die if necessary~the pacifist creed
you'll have to pry this gun from my cold dead fingers~charlton heston

I'm told barbra streisand owns some of the Atlantic ocean and the way to it.
No? just try to get there through her gate! And she's threatened to RPG any nosy helicopters tryin to spy on her old wrinkled ass while she's peein. Guess she owns the air too.
And I guess ted turner owns all the buffalo and wyoming where he keeps em, and won't let me in to pet the damn things.
Larry Ellison just bought a Hawaiian island. Yep, all of it. A golfer's paradise but you'll never know.

When did human beings go crazy?
And me too.

It seems to me, that if i plant a field of corn and a hungry stranger passing by needs some, they should be free to shuck as they need, but my no trespassing sign says different.
And if one lost in the night passes by and needs to use my bathroom, promising to flush, that should be ok. But my two loaded guns by the bed say different.
You so much as creak the boards on my porch at two am and I'm blowing you into fertilizer! There's crazy meth heads everywhere, lurking like zombies wanting to rape, rob, and kill.
Ain't takin any chances. Lock and load, full rock and roll!

I used to hitch hike and pick up hitch hikers cuz one of us had a car and the other didn't. Made sense. OMG what a fool I was! It's just lucky one of us didn't kill the other. Now I know better and I glare at those no good lazy bastards as I zoom by.

I don't own a home now, but I've owned a few, or so I was told by by the man who held the deed.
It didn't feel like I owned it, and I had a hell of a time leaving it, so maybe it owned me.
My cat strayed into my neighbors yard once and he blew it to kingdom come because, after all, it was HIS yard.
My other neighbor shot bottle rockets into my pool so I shot a bazooka just high enough to miss his party, but they sure hit the ground fast when they heard the KABOOM!
It was sell or prison, sure as hell, so sell I did after fixing my roof, rewiring with blue instead of white, moving my septic, finishing the basement, and re-roofing cuz the guy at city hall said I had too, so maybe he really owned it. Beats me.

I knew a woman who sold her house she thought she owned, and before the new inhabitants moved in, she sneaked over and dug up all the flowers and ran off, cuz DAMMIT! they were her flowers!
Can people own flowers? Are we running low? Aren't they drilling for flowers somewhere?
I always thought just watching them grow was the joy and how nice it would be for the new people who thought they owned the house to have flowers.
But fuck em! mine is mine and get your own damn flowers!

I just heard on the radio today, that when they fired off the first A-bomb, they didn't really know if it would blow up the whole world but said they knew it wouldn't, and that we shouldn't worry. And when they set one off in the ocean, they promised it wouldn't blow a hole through the earth, but now they admit they didn't really know if it would.
We hear things like this and still believe them when they say don't worry.

So I'm voting for Willard cuz Rush says if we let babs and ted keep their tax breaks we can own islands and states too! (I want utah, but with buffalo instead of mormons)
And Rush wouldn't lie to us about Willard.
Who's Willard? you mean you really thought his name was Mitt? No, no, no! That's just a folksy nickname he uses to fool us who can't pet ted's buffalo in ted's wyoming, or pee in one of bab's twenty bathrooms on the way to her ocean.
I mean, really! who would vote for a guy who has the same name as a killer rat, when you can vote for a guy with a name that makes it sound like he spends his free time whittlin flutes on the porch?

When did we go crazy?