Sunday, March 25, 2012


"There's more than one answer to these questions, pointing me in a crooked line
the less i seek my source for some definitive, the closer i am to fine" -E. Saliers (Indigo Girls)

i've been accused
so there it is
like a bloody piece of meat
on the butcher's table
or the bloody rag
she couldn't flush

the supposed crime?
pretending to be definitive
while being anything but

so, am i pissed cuz i'm guilty?
or indignant cuz i'm falsely accused?

the world would like me conclusive
my lovers demand it
and my conscience is dressed like moses

i've tried definitive, but
you've notarized my conclusions
and formed them into hammer

remember when you said this?
remember when you promised that?
remember when you said you'd never?
remember when you said you'd always?

yes, fuck yes!
i remember
you see to it always

but i'm not definitive
my heart, my mind, my thoughts
they are not locked in a cage
nor on exhibit at some museum

if a tree was defined by spring
how sad our autumns would be
if our days are defined by blue skies
should we feel guilty when it storms?

when i said i loved you
i meant it
when i said i'd stay
i meant it
when i said goodbye
i meant it

i wake every morning with a fresh heart
a song from the past opens a door to a future
and light comes in more than one shade

so, yes
i am guilty
guilty of changing
growing, learning
who i am
and which trail to explore
and which to abandon

i am not final
not black or white
sometimes hot
sometimes cold
most times
i don't have a clue

you, the salmon, swimming upstream
can't help but mock the small leaf
floating aimlessly downstream
getting in the way
but each of us will arrive
each will know
a destination
a purpose
maybe even